One of my challenges as an Aspie is that I can easily fall extremely focused fixation on a topic at a time, almost to exclusion of all other topics. More recent examples? My focus on my Stock Car Racing. That lasted 3 years till Lake Geneva Raceway closed and the economy crashed. My focus on gaming and D&D. That lasted about 2 years till I discovered how nasty the publishing business is and my involvement in the leather community ramped up.
A Master/slave has typically been defined with “consistency.” Consistency can be a problem when that laser-like focus moves to something else. My research has inconsistent results in how this works – most aspies have a core “thing” or “things” that they are almost-OCD about (and in many aspies, OCD is an issue). For me, that’s not the case as I end up with varied interests (going from stock car racing to playing tabletop RPGs is as opposite as you can get) so I guess your mileage may vary.
What is consistent is that these periods of focus will cause problems in our relationship. When this happened early on in the relationship, for me, I still “felt” the relationship, but given that I already struggle with social/interpersonal cues, I didn’t pick up on angie feeling left out. Over time, we’ve developed a way to communicate during those times so that I am more aware of when they are happening. I’ve had to work on how to find some balance in those times. Like most things related to my AS, I don’t have any silver bullets to fixing this. It’s not always easy, but I’ve gotten better. This ability, a slippery slope, it’s always with me, so I find that I have to keep more aware of when something might be becoming the next interest.
I bet I sound like quite the basket case.
The “basket case” comment was meant to be more self-deprecating in a humorous way. It was a relief to have “me” explained to me by the clinician because things made sense. I didn’t just miss one important day in school where they taught you how to make friends, socialize at parties and be someone who had it together. I was grateful to get the tools to understand who I am. I just figured that it would be helpful to someone else like me who might happen to read about this guy who is in a M/s relationship and has similar behaviors and thoughts.