It’s an obvious thought that the slave serves the Master in an M/s relationship, but lately I’ve been thinking about an aspect that I don’t hear a lot about – how the Master is just as much in service to the relationship.
Along those same lines, as someone who has been covered, I have been considering what form of service is performed by those who’ve received the cover and title of Master in the community.
I think both are similar in nature, in that they end up serving a greater whole.
I’m in service to the relationships that I’m in. I have responsibilities and duties. I have the authority given to me, and a requirement that my exercise of that authority is something that is positive, is within the boundaries of my ethics and what has been negotiated, is in the end sustainable and realistic. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. What we create in our journey is bigger than just two people engaged in a kinky relationship. For that yin/yang to work, I have to give as much as my slave does – in different ways, by different means, but no less an effort.
I’m a Master who enjoys harmony and peace in his life. With as much chaos as the Universe likes to throw my way, it’s a joy to get to those moments. We both have to strive for that balance, though. If I did not contribute and serve to that pursuit, then what would I be? I don’t think I’d be a very good Master.
When I was covered, I looked at the wonderful woman covering me and whispered “You know, you just gave me a ton more responsibilities.” She smiled, her eyes twinkled as she gleefully whispered backed “You have no idea.”
Well, dammit, she’s right.
I was brought up that leather men and women were loyal to their club, to their families and to to the people they shared bonds with. I was also taught that if I saw a need, if I saw something that spoke to me, then go get it done.
I’m also a big fan of this quote of the Reverend Martin Luther King: “Not everybody can be famous, but everybody can be great because greatness is determined by service.”
Now to me, the term “greatness” doesn’t mean fame or somehow being “better”, but rather perhaps “enlightment” or even “completeness” or perhaps “joy” or “fulfillment”. A personal “greatness” versus a greatness among others. Most people who volunteer, who roll up their sleeves and get things done, who perform the acts needed to assist, to complete, to provide… they’re done behind the scenes. They’re done to where nobody realizes it. That’s good service, what you would expect in an M/s relationship, but it’s also, I believe, the way of service to a greater whole.
I was given a cover because my elders and club members felt I had provided service, I had learned my craft, I had demonstrated ethics and the values they deemed appropriate and valuable in both my personal relationships and in my leather circle and club. I was human, they knew I’d made mistakes, but I’d also learned from them … in their eyes. (I tend to be less forgiving of myself.)
That didn’t mean the service stopped to my community, oh no. I feel the pressure even more. Now I have the responsibility to share with others who want to listen, to still serve and protect and be a brother to those in my family, but now I have to pass it forward and backwards. The lessons, the history and the support that others will need to make mistakes, to grow and to become more realized and authentic people — whether it’s in the privacy of a home or club, or whether they choose to step out and get involved even more so.
As a Master in a relationship and a Master in title, both of those require me to recognize that the journey doesn’t stop, the service doesn’t stop… the more I know, the more that service grows.
What do you think?