On our communication when we first started out

listening-earAngie and I wanted to put our thoughts down on things that happened to us when we first started down our Master/slave path. We posed questions to each other and then answered them. 

The first topic we chose was communication. 

What do you think our communication was like when we first got together? 

Angie: As with most new relationships communication is usually tempered by expectations. Whether it be our own expectations of the other person or what we believed the other person wanted to hear. At first there was a lot of back and forth questioning if we were even compatible and learning exactly what the attractions were and were they short term or for the long run. A lot of different things all seem to be happening all at once.

Michael: I remember the communication was like an exploration – what’s this? What’s that? For me, this was such a powerful connection with you, and the New Relationship Energy was over the top. I didn’t come into the relationship with a lot of expectations on communication, because communication was – in my head – going to happen or it wouldn’t. I didn’t know at the time that I was going to struggle with communication later on. So for me, I think it was good.

What was something really good about our communication early on? 

Angie: At the very start we wanted to make each other happy and support each other. That still remains today which is one of our strongest points to our foundation.

Michael: Yes, I agree.. we wanted to be open and honest too. “Brutally honest” was our motto (and still is) and we stuck to that, and still do. That was new, in that I’d not been with someone who could be as brutally honest as I was. It was a good thing to have, as we jumped into being Master/slave full-bore about 3 months after we started dating and figuring out this is what we wanted to do.

What was something really challenging?

Angie: Our biggest challenge and like our biggest plus which still remains is communication through our differences of processing emotions very differently.

Michael: Unknown to me at the time, it was my Aspie that provided the biggest challenge – in how I process and communicate words and emotions. I’d also say our baggage from previous relationships. We always said we were throwing out the rule books and habits of the past, but they did rear their heads and give us problems. Factoring in learning about being Master/slave with each other made that even harder. I made a couple of big mistakes early on (one I didn’t see come to light until about 3 years later) which served as big lessons to me.

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Master Michael S

International Master 2014. Member of: Chicago Leather Club, Chicago Leathermen Group, MAsT: Greater Chicago. Longtime leatherman. One of the Four Horsemen.

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