Thank you for the question from yesterday’s “Ask Us Anything” topic.
” I wonder how you maintain your M/s dynamic (and language) as parents. What, if anything, do your children know about your dynamic and if so, how that has been explained and changed as they’ve grown? “
Maintaining our Master slave language & dynamic in the years together has evolved and grown as we have. Having a blended family had it own unique challenges as each of the kids being here in the home or gone and even all together at different times throughout the years. We keep personal boundaries of intimate details and what they see is a loving couple. If questions are asked we answer in age and boundary appropriate ways. Their ages range between 26 – 14 and as you can imagine talks of life relationships and gender & sexuality have been discussed.
Aside from slave angie’s collar around her neck, you wouldn’t know we are Master/slave unless we told you or unless you were watching and caught the little signs. We have a great many protocols that we use through-out the day, but those are subtle and between us, unless we’re in a comfortable situation away from family. It’s never been our style to push our relationship on others, but we’re honest to the age appropriate level. So if the adult children ask, we’ll answer questions, but we let them lead the discussion in how much they want to know. They know we are into “leather” and they have an inkling of what that means, but most of them have not pursued the conversation much further. We’ve taken our adult son to the Leather Archives & Museum and he’s seen us in the Pride Parade – but those were at his request and choice. For the younger grandkids, all they know is that “Nana & Poppa” are a loving couple who don’t fight, who take care of each other, and who support each other.
It probably helps that for us, we see Master/slave as “who we are” versus “what we do.” I can look at slave angie and ask her in front of the children to do something. It sounds like a request, but we know the underlying meaning behind me telling her to do something and her providing that service and obedience. That’s what nurtures our M/s relationship. That knowledge of who are is always there in the moment.
Thanks for the question and we will try this again next month!