[M/s 365] On being authentic and on being human

Today was a busy day for both of us – we’re down to final demolition on the basement from the flooding two weeks ago. Very grateful to our leather family who came out to help us tonight, and who will be coming tomorrow night to finish the job.

But, we both had some things to say during the day.

Slave angie posted this on Facebook, but I loved it so much, I’m repeating it here:

“Authentic” is not a new Leather buzz word that will get you a multipass, Strive for authentic even when nobody is looking and it matters only to yourself.

secret-garden-flowers

For me, it was answering a question on Fetlife.

A commenter had said this: Comes back to my original question….if a Master cannot master themselves, how can they hope to own, master and fully control another human being? …  how is this impacted by D types with mental illness, such as PTSD, Bipolar disorder, depression, etc?

My answer:

As a Masters with mental issues (I am diagnosed with Aspergers/Autism), I can answer that question about “What about Masters with mental issues” – it is the same as if I didn’t have mental issues. I work on my own issues, I own those issues and I strive to be the best person I can, no matter what my wiring is. Do I have off days, down days, situations where I may not be the best? Of course. Do I have to be perfect? Absolutely NOT. What I have to be is responsible to myself and to the things/people/relationships that I’m a part of.

With my slave, that comes with established protocols. With other relationships or situations, it comes with forgiving myself, learning and taking care of what needs to be taken care of.

Masters, like slaves, are human. Finding someone that could work with me, who didn’t have an unrealistic expectation and yet who surrendered her authority to me because she recognized that I could be the Master to fill that hole in her otherwise complete heart… that was key.

I’d highly encourage you to seek out a book by Raven Kaldera called “Hell on Wheels” about dominants with disabilities. While it might not speak exactly to the mental issues side, it will give you insights on how Masters can cope and succeed with disabilities in general. His book on Masters with mental issues is coming out this year. (to be transparent, I have an article in that book.)

One other note about “ye olde guarde” … I highly encourage you to seek out “Ties that Bind” and “Slavecraft” – both by Guy Baldwin who is an author that can claim “Ye Olde Guarde” credentials… as well as seek out “Loving Dominant” by John Warren, another “Ye Olde Guarde” potential claimant. You’ll find examples of how an M/s relationship can and (IMO of the authors’ intent) should involve emotional bonds, love included.

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Master Michael S

International Master 2014. Member of: Chicago Leather Club, Chicago Leathermen Group, MAsT: Greater Chicago. Longtime leatherman. One of the Four Horsemen.

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