There are just some weekends where it’s just too ridiculous, how plans go awry and things are forgotten and the situation just gets crazy. Take Friday night. Slave angie packed and prepared everything for us to go visit the Wisconsin Dells. We were to present at Satyricon on Saturday, and take care of things up North. We drive 3 1/2 hours, pull in around midnight. The moment I pulled in the driveway with the van full of gear, and angie pulled up next to me, a little voice in my head said “She forgot the keys.” (It’s usually angie who gets the keys.) The look of horror on her face told me that my 6th sense was indeed, unfortunately, correct.
Well, we have access to another place to stay, so a quick 15 minute trip and we were unpacking. Angie’s mood was somber, very sorrowful. (she loves her place…) The forgetting the keys was unfortunate, but I was just as responsible for forgetting – it was a simple mistake. But her emotions were so caught up, and she needed some way to refocus, to ground herself. So… I asked the question. “Do you need absolution?”
Now as a rule, I don’t punish angie unless there’s been a major, relationship-threatening action. Correction, yes. That’s learning in nature, adjust the direction, fix the problem, remain calm and carry on kind of thing. Punishment is not corrective, punishment is a price to be paid for something really bad. It’s happened twice in 11 years.
But… absolution is one of those things that I have used to help angie release from her guilt, to give her a channel to understand that although it was a mistake – I forgive her – but there is a need for her to feel something in forgiving her. It’s hard to explain – it’s not punishment, it’s not correction.
So… absolution was given in a ritual that we perform on these rare occasions. We connected, she understood that it was over and we carried on.
From slave angie:
Absolution is the place that brings me back to Him and my feet back on the ground. A chance to say “i’m sorry Master” for what has happened and in the end it is washed away and i know it will not be carried forward by Master and i am not allowed to carry on with it either. I get to let it go.