Following on our recent post “The Price”, I had a reason today to look up two wonderful speeches (“rants”) by “pundit & kvetch” Laura Antoniou and wanted to share them here.
When we, as adults, make a conscious decision to engage in SM relationships and tell other people about it, we have passed the kiddie corner of the scene – otherwise known as the anonymous online community – and are stepping up to something that has the potential to shoot you out of a tunnel at 60 miles an hour and turn you upside down six times – and then do it backwards.
In other words, my friends, you must be this tall to ride this ride.
Folks: what we do isn’t rocket science, but neither is it gymboree. If you can’t negotiate safe sex, you really have no business negotiating sadomasochism. If you are disturbed by the consensual behavior of other adults because you find it triggers something in you, you shouldn’t go to places where you can see them act out their play. If you put your body in the hands of someone else and don’t take care of your needs, whether it’s by negotiation, communication, or any other adult responsibility, you need to accept the consequences. If you can’t manage your own life, you should not be trying to manage someone else’s. If you don’t own your own shit, you should not be trying to be owned by someone else.
Her speeches and rants over the years have mirrored and echoed my own discoveries and growing beliefs. These two speeches pretty succinctly lay out a thought process that will make some people squirm, mainly those who want the have the “rules police” or the “cell phone monitors” or “consent police” or even the “SSC moderators” run our kink events and spaces.
Common sense. Kindergarden rules. Personal responsibility. Be kind to each other. When someone needs the proverbial smack on the back of the head, do it with love and respect. Show the assholes the door. “This isn’t rocket science.”