[M/s 365] Brain dead – and renegotiation

8 hours of driving after bad night’s sleep means that I’m answering a question – anything “M/s’y” that went on today during the drive was mainly more windshield and connect time. Plus a completely inappropriate joke by slave angie that I’m still chucking in some disbelief over. She about pissed herself laughing though, so it was worth it. However, after that drive and a detour to take care of some Grandparent duties, I am Master-mash and she is slave-hitthewall, so we’re about ready to go to bed already.


So… the question from our favorite KinkyNet…

Once you have set general guidelines down do you and your slave negotiate, or is it a your way or the highway type of deal? As in if you and yours come upon something new that has not been discussed before you entered your relationship, do you allow your slaves input to help determine the outcome? (from here.)

My answer:

I break it down 3 different ways:

1. With regards to the overall structure of the relationship, as to whether she gets to take back surrendering to my authority – no negotiation at all. If she wants that back, the relationship ends.

2. With regards to specifics of service, like duties, or expectations, or how things will flow, she’s allowed to let me know what’s going on – especially with regards to things I might not be aware of. I think this follows to your second question – yes, she has the responsibility to tell me “I can paint the living room, but that will require that we lose the dining room to putting all the stuff there. And you have a dinner planned in two days. What would you like me to do?” And then wait for me to make the decision. I also let her figure out how to best manage her time, unless I want things to happen a specific way.

3. Over time, life and things happen. She’s allowed to come to me to discuss relationship issues. Ask questions, share what is going on.


Now that’s how it works in our relationship. There have been times when it has come down to “my way or highway” where I drew the line, laid out what was to happen and she had to make the choice in whether to follow or not. It’s not always easy and this is the part of the deal that probably makes some people step back… because she didn’t like what I had laid down and this was not just “you won’t wear panties” type of thing, this was stuff that affected family and children and finances and just about everything you can imagine. As I’ve said before though, I understand that price to be paid and I’m willing to pay it. Because although she’s an extremely capable, competent and kick-ass person, she’s given the authority to me, and all that comes with it, good and bad. And this is the way I’m going to live my life.

This looks about like the wall we're hitting tonight.
This looks about like the wall we’re hitting tonight.

Published by

Master Michael S

International Master 2014. Member of: Chicago Leather Club, Chicago Leathermen Group, MAsT: Greater Chicago. Longtime leatherman. One of the Four Horsemen.

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