“I have complete confidence in you.”
There are very few phrases that tell someone in service that can convey so much positive energy as the one above. In saying something like that to someone, I am indicating that I have given over my trust, agreement, loose leash and motivation about a subject to the person I’m speaking to. I don’t say it snarky either, because I don’t want there to be a question of “Does he really mean it?” Yes, I do really mean it. You have been given the task and my belief that you will, to the best of your ability, move mountains to do it right and make me happy.
I don’t use threats of punishment , or pain, or assume disobedience. In my mind, I see the outcome as a positive one, and I try to convey that. I’ve found that the more I let go of tight-grasping micromanagement control, the more I rely on trust and authority, in all walks of life, the easier it is for me to get what I want. Seems counter-intuitive, but it also seems to be true. The saying “You’ll catch a lot more flies with honey than you will with vinegar” applies with slave angie. I know some people are wired different and need a balance, and some need that heavy hand. I know that for me, that sort of approach long term would be very hard for me. I prefer harmony and as little stress/conflict/drama as possible.
Slave angie says this a lot when she’s talking about service and surrender – that the trust is a two way street. That not only does she have to trust me in where I’m taking things, but that I have to trust her to be there to follow – and I have to trust her that she’ll have it done or have done the best to her ability. For me, that trust wasn’t easy – not by any fault of angie, but rather my own Aspie came into play – “if I can’t control things, life will go in this weird direction that I won’t understand or worse, involve conflict.” That’s been harder to learn to trust, but it’s been worth it.
I also see how having that sort of confidence and trust really motivates slave angie. Pride in a job well done, pride in hearing trust, those are powerful motivators. It builds her confidence and maybe gives her a needed shot in the arm to overcome internal difficulties and press on.
 “Funishment”, now… that is something I very much enjoy doing, as I know it gets me hard, and gets her wet. Absolutely nothing wrong in enjoying something. I just don’t confuse the two.