[M/s 365] Alignment of wills

Slave angie alluded to a discussion that we’re having on this in Monday’s post:

Am i aligned in my surrender to Master and what does that even mean or look like?

This came about from a much larger discussion I’m having with slave angie, about the potential for “loss of identity” by a slave as a result of surrender. She and I have spoken about this… about how she sees that after a certain point or amount of surrender, or some other unnamed point, there is a loss of identity within the slave.

We discussed an example of what that might look like. She said “What if you told me I couldn’t be a bootblack anymore.” Slave angie identifies as a bootblack – it’s a significant part of her journey as a leather woman and slave.

I agreed that was an example, but I explored it.

“If that were a true situation, it wouldn’t be an off the cuff decision. You would know it was coming. There would have already discussions. Something that significant, I wouldn’t make that sort of decision on a moment’s notice unless it was a health/life issue. However, if that discussion did happen, if I had what I felt were ethical/moral reasons that followed my values and followed my goal of taking care of my property and keeping harmony in the house and family, then yes, I would expect you to be aligned to my will and not be a bootblack anymore.”

Slave angie went quiet and chewed on that. And I asked her a follow-up.

“You talk about loss of identity and this isn’t the first time you’ve said that. What does that loss look like? What does it feel like? How do you see it happening?”

And then I asked her if she felt she was aligned to my will.

I could see the smoke starting to come out the ears, which is a good signal for me to STFU and let the slave chew for awhile. She is still chewing, but we have 18 hours of windshield time in our travels this weekend, so I expect we’ll return to that subject.

I can understand how deepening one’s surrender, making a complete alignment of will might feel like a loss of identity, but I think of it as the logical/natural outcome of surrender. I value angie as a human being, as a person capable of growth, of achievements, of doing things far beyond what she thought when we first got together. Her complete surrender and alignment to my will doesn’t mean she becomes merely an object – an appendage that has no voice or identity. For me, the surrender of a fully capable, fully identified person is far more attractive – because they put my will first. Their identity shines and grows through that alignment, through being my slave. I don’t want a voiceless slave who’s extension of my will doesn’t include the gifts and skills and identity that she brings into the mix.

Some thoughts for a Thursday…


Published by

Master Michael S

International Master 2014. Member of: Chicago Leather Club, Chicago Leathermen Group, MAsT: Greater Chicago. Longtime leatherman. One of the Four Horsemen.

5 thoughts on “[M/s 365] Alignment of wills”

  1. This is really an interesting topic you have brought up. I am having the opposite problem.
    Arianna and I have a very unique M’s relationship, well okay maybe not to many but from what I have noticed while out at local functions such as MAsT and Munchs.

    I was introduced to Arianna through a local couple here in Orlando, they thought we would be a perfect fit which worked out to be true.

    Once we had agreed to think about a relationship we sat down and started going over each others needs.
    When she got to the subject of being micromanaged I wanted no part of it. One it was not me, and two I do not believe it is healthy, longer term anyway.

    We continued to see each other and as time went by, we had a really good relationship. We communicated on every level, and we felt like best friends

    Going against my beliefs I agreed to enter such a relationship with Arianna, micromanaged that is.

    The first 90 days was somewhat tough for me , because I had never been in that type of relationship. Even consulting with others was really no help.

    A year later we were married by a Slave who runs the Daytona MAsT on the beach at sunrise.

    Prior to meeting me Arianna she had been in two M’s relationships and was abused in both , both mentally and physically , so when we met she was pretty beaten down, and trusting someone was not easy.

    The problem is she came to me and said she cannot see her submission any longer, even with being micromanaged. Even having to ask for permission to do most everything, again this was her idea, this was a need she made clear prior to entering a M’s relationship.

    We are constantly searching out news ways for her to get to the point where she feels like a slave.

    A month ago she brought it up that when she addresses me she would like to speak in thirds. Your property, her, never I or me.

    The truth our relationship runs much deeper, deeper than I have ever felt in some 20 years.

    Our home is very strict, and I can say as of today we have never had an argument and that is the truth. I believe that is due to the communication we have, the other is I had never met someone in the lifestyle who puts up no resistance at all.

    Now Arianna may be someone needy , and for the most she is very codependent, but she is far from stupid.
    She does have a degree and a career, and she had been employed for the same company for 16 years

    We had talked about adding a third in the past and this was something Arianna brought up.

    That was due to the fact that it has been hard for her to make any real friends in the local community.
    She has said she cannot relate to someone who can say no, or who back talks their Master in public and of course the drama.
    So the sister Slave was for Arianna and not me
    I did mull it over for sometime, but I finely came to the conclusion I simply did not have the time to devote to someone else, and I have seen that type of relationship destroy a home.

    I guess after all of this ranting my question was deeper submission.
    I am not into the physical play aspect of the lifestyle, as a matter of fact I have never left a bruise on Arianna.
    The fact is she would be most happy at home chained or kelp in a cage..
    Thank you


    1. That is a lot to chew on, but I think what you’re saying is about your slave feeling it more deeply. And that it’s hard to find ways of doing that within your community because of community drama or because of her past.

      I wish I had more than the surface advice to give, but as I don’t know you that well, it would be hard to say, as you know her best. What I like is that you are making it a team effort, that you’re not taking it on your own shoulders. I have a saying I use – “I’m not a therapist and I won’t play one in Real Life.” While my Mastery or the act of service to me from someone might be cathartic, and we might discuss using it as such, I’m under no illusions that I can cure someone. I’m more than willing to exercise my authority to make a slave go to therapy and I’ve done so. The fact that you two are making it cooperative says good things.

      I’ve recently discovered the spiritual side of M/s – the past couple of years have been an eye opening awareness that it plays a deeper role than I knew in the beginning. We both feel it, and in aspects of our discussions, that spirituality comes out. I don’t know if that’s a path that you both have tried, or how you feel about spirituality, but I offer that as one of the ways we’ve moved deeper into ourselves and the Bigger Whole of our dynamic.

      Thank you for sharing.


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