It was a couple of months ago that I thought we needed more structure. That thought led into a loop that ended with a frustrated slave asking “why is it always about the chores” to a frustrated Master. That led to the Master doing some serious navel-gazing and wondering what was really important and why was it about the chores. That led to more discussion… and a few adjustments… and more discussion. Did I mention we just had 18 hours of windshield time?
It’s often the moments that I don’t think I’m going to learn something about my slave that I find a key to what is going on – sometimes the most obvious things. We were at a MAsT meeting this weekend and a slave mentioned their behavior and memory issues due to ADD. Angie nodded her head in agreement and that’s when that little hand with the big hammer in the back of my head smacked me a good one. So the discussion on the way back from West Virginia was in part about how to get the best from her with that in mind… the reminders and cues that are needed. Just as I need specific things in specific ways due to my ASD, I get why there is an operating procedure needed for some things for slave angie. Add in lupus fatigue and fog and it’s a recipe for figuring out how to cope and deal in the best way possible.
Cozi and check-ins help. Having an understanding and being able to adjust and still have accountability and a positive feedback loop is a good thing. That’s what I like to base my leadership on. That’s one of the things we teach in our class on coping with disabilities and illnesses. Coming up with things that are sustainable and realistic. Learning the positive mechanisms that help and being open to trying new things to make it work.
So, back to the structure thing… of having daily activities throughout the week. It works best when we have stable schedules and the ability to get into a rhythm, something we’ll be able to do now until mid-January, so we’ll see. The thing is that right now, our priorities are getting some rest and recovery from a hectic 6 months and doing some home repairs and touch-ups before the holidays. Now that we might have a weekend or two home to ourselves.
So the structure thing is “there, but not what I envisioned.” Isn’t that the way Life usually goes?