I wanted to add a further thought, sparked by a post I’ve read elsewhere.
I don’t believe that life is about unending happiness, or a permanent state of external occurrences that promote happiness. Living in 24/7 M/s brings joy, but it’s not always whips and chains, sex and orgasms, service and surrender, firm grip in the hair or on the collar…
And yet, it is.
I believe happiness is something found within. It’s found in the moments – those are the moments that I/we hold onto when I’m/we’re in the low points. Those moments of service and firm hair gripping, sex and S/m and of dinners and private moments of deep connection.
Having those memories, those anchors that tie back to the feelings and happiness… and having the acceptance that like life itself, the low point will pass, there is joy in the miracle of living. And in living authentically.
I’m well aware of slave angie’s mortality. The lupus and unpredictability of her disease makes me realize that our time here is a flickering candle. I don’t want to look beyond that black hole, but yet I know it’s there. I don’t know what’s on the other side, but if/when it comes to pass, I know that I will have to still put one foot in front of the other, to keep moving and keep walking and keep living, because to do otherwise is to quit.
And I don’t quit.
So I will have these moments and be at one with the fact that these are the perfect moments that I have been given, and that’s all I can expect, is to have those moments.