I’m heading to a meeting of the Chicago Leathermen’s Discussion Group tonight. The topic is on flogging – the basics in a discussion and hands-on demo. That and a discussion with my co-coordinator of CLDG has me thinking a lot about the basics.
Go to any event and you’ll see the vast majority of topics center around “Toys for Tops” – S/m skills and techniques. There are a lot of classes on how to do this and that, but very few that take an in-depth look at anatomy and physiological reactions to S/m. Now extend that to relationships. There are very few events focused on the relationship. Fewer still that take attendees to the “Basics.” There are classes on conflict management, and on aspects of relationships in play, or on negotiations, but few that lay out the ground work and basics to a relationship in general.
The basics of a relationship… that’s a whole can of worms because everyone comes into a relationship with different viewpoints, different areas of emphasis and different outlooks and goals. It’s easy enough to teach someone to flog a certain way, on specific parts of the body, but not as easy to teach or pass on the basics of relationships, especially a type of relationship that is on the edge.
Still, just to muse for a moment, if I were to teach a class or series of classes, or mentor someone on establishing an M/s relationship, it would probably follow along with knowing yourself first, understanding basics of communication, negotiation and conflict resolution, time management systems, leadership styles and techniques, basic service options, basic training/mentoring skills, service skills, exercises in doing all of the above.
I’m unfortunately pressed for time to finish this post, so this is something I want to revisit. What do you think some are some basic M/s relationship knowledge areas that need more attention?