“… because that’s what Master wants.”
Simple words. Simple phrase. I call it playing “the Master card.” At the end of the day, with all of the authority lying with me, I can say “because I said so” and that is the way it is. No explanation needed, no discussion has to be had. No compromise. My way or the highway. I can say it pleasantly, I can say it angrily. It’s the line that doesn’t get crossed. “Because Master said so.”
I think that overusing the Master card would be harmful to my M/s relationship. There is never a doubt in my mind that slave Angie would follow me even if I played that card each and every time… at first. After awhile, it would start to feel all one way to both of us. If I’m leading in a vacuum, without regard or interaction, it becomes sterile. And that’s not what I’m really after. I don’t want an underling, or a functionary, simply mindlessly obeying orders. I want a companion who has surrendered to me – but one where there is a natural, comfortable, daily communication. That communication is there if she’s curious, if she wants to know context, if she wants to learn more to be of better service, or even if she wants to offer a possible alternative, or if I want to explore an issue and search for the best, most harmonious answer.
And yet, sometimes I think under-using the Master card can also be detrimental. Sometimes, the situation calls for it and if I don’t play it… well, Nature and strong-willed slaves abhor a vacuum.
I’ve been thinking of how to explain when and how I know when a simple “because Master says so” is required. It’s hard to know, because it can be stressful. It can be involved with an upset, or lead to an upset, or it can be part of a correction. It can be a moment where I don’t read it right and put my foot down, only to realize I put it through the floor when it wasn’t required. That’s part of the deal of being on the Master side, and knowing that you might not get it 100% right 100% of the time.
Part of that card is also letting slave Angie work through the issue. If the situation is related to an upset, or my slave is obeying, but I know she is struggling with some aspect, I have to let her work through it at her pace. Pushing isn’t going to get slave Angie anywhere – she’s going to eventually get to a point where she can either communicate her struggle and we talk about it, or she’s going to overcome the hurdle and grow from it. When service is hard is when we have the most opportunities for finding new places in ourselves.
If you haven’t guessed, we had a situation in the past couple of days where I had to say “Master said so” and it was involved with a minor upset. I let her work through it, although it wasn’t much of a pleasant night for either of us, as the upset happened right before bedtime. It was really minor as compared to what I’m writing about, but the situation made me take a look and break down how the “Master card” works.