Check your assumptions about the slave or submissive you’re talking to

Oh look, a stump or soap box. Let me get on it for a minute…

This weekend, I saw a wonderful man Robbie Butler step up to the mic and say “Yes, I am a slave and yes, I can run for American Leather Man.”

I’ve seen slave Angie push against similar projections and assumptions … that slaves cannot stand up and be leaders. Especially in leadership positions where people think it only applies to Sirs, to Masters/Mistresses, to Dominants.

It’s a false assumption. I’ve seen strong, caring, wonderful slaves across the world take up leadership positions and “get shit done.”

Too often, I think we as a community shoot ourselves in the foot with these assumptions that a **RELATIONSHIP** role somehow applies across the community.

Respect of that role is one thing. I respect someone as a slave or collared boy/girl or submissive in respect of their relationship role. BUT then, I don’t assume that because they have given control or surrendered authority that they somehow make that the ONLY thing about them.

Next time you walk into a bar, dungeon, play event — check yourself as you talk to someone with a collar or obvious sign of a relationship status. Do you treat them different, make different assumptions? Yes? Then mentally take that collar off them and see them as the wonderful person that they are, fully capable of that leadership position that our community needs filled.

Published by

Master Michael S

International Master 2014. Member of: Chicago Leather Club, Chicago Leathermen Group, MAsT: Greater Chicago. Longtime leatherman. One of the Four Horsemen.

8 thoughts on “Check your assumptions about the slave or submissive you’re talking to”

  1. Well who said Mr. Butler (or any other bottom, for that matter) can’t run for American Leather Man? The fact that he’s a slave (to whatever Master he’s in a committed relationship with) doesn’t make him any less intelligent or less qualified. There are submissives and slaves who, while they kneel in private life, they have careers outside the home that put them in leadership roles, and they thrive in those leadership roles.


    1. @Cara – I agree, as for who said, it is unfortunately a common assumption I see across all the spectrum of our kink/BDSM community. And it is voiced most time in passive-aggressive ways. But in some cases, out and out disrespect, or – worse- the assumption that one who is a slave/submissive in a relationship has somehow assumed a “I’m submissive/slave to the whole community” role.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. This reminds me of my favorite story of Master Steve Sampson (who was instrumental in founding Butchmann’s Academy and progressing the education and discussion on M/s) where he talked about how in his many years of experience, the vast majority of slaves he knew were smarter, more capable and able than he was… but it was the “hole in their heart that would only be filled by surrendering to their Master” that made them seek slavery with him. As a young kinkling, back in 2001 I found that story wonderful and thought provoking. Fast forward 14 yeras, in my experience it is very true!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Obviously, the folks who tell any s-type person that they are “lesser” or not allowed to lead, have not met the majority of slaves I know. To paraphrase, slaves get shit done.


  3. My slave whisper or steely glint is as powerful and passionate as Master’s roar. Both are respected and honored, seldom diminished, except by fools. ~~slave tasha 💜


  4. I am submissive to M. (D/s relationship), but heavily dominant in my daily life. Polite (always polite) to others — but they are not M. and the relationship with M. is where I feel safe… be submissive. With no one else.

    From your sharing — I am guessing that Angie is strong, smart and “on it”. slave or not – she is a “go to” person and perhaps a better choice than Doms/Dommes/etc. for certain things.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s