slave angie: An interesting question came up during our Master/slave 101 class recently. Master and i had been discussing with the attendee’s our difficulties and struggles in the beginning of our relationship. We like to take questions in the middle and all through it, just makes for great conversation and that way and we also get to learn from all sorts of different relationships and dynamics. Our very first struggle we had discussed in the beginning of the class was Master’s Aspie (Aspergers) and the communication issues we had to learn tools for and overcome.
Then someone asked a simple question – “Why didn’t you give up?” I’m not even really sure why this was a surprise to me but it really was. This was an option ? Giving up on has never been in my wiring even sometimes at certain points in my life to my own detriment, Irish stubbornness yes yes I know *sigh* But “this” .. This has always been something bigger then just me and at a whole bunch of other times felt bigger then the two of us together. I knew and learned trust a a bond that continued to grow and strengthen which each and every struggle we came through together.
Master Michael: You didn’t want to give up even when we were at our lowest and I said “This is over.” You sat on that floor and said “No, it’s not.” And wouldn’t leave. Which set me back and made me think and the Sun came up the next morning and we began anew again.
slave angie: I never believed for one second that could be the truth, that we could be not who were were inside and the bond could be severed.
Master Michael: And it wasn’t and hasn’t been since. Anchors for each other.
It’s the part that’s on the other side of that struggle .. when i feel like a caged creature and struggle inside and in a moment the door is opened and it comes with a peace that washes over me when i find that my surrender goes even deeper and there is still more to give each time i reach inside.
(sharing my reply to a fb post) Such a wonderful topic to share the beauty that comes with this path that slaves have chose.
This is the post slave writes when Master is dead dog tired from working all day and coming home to lay another coat of primer and more plaster repair on the walls. Which by the way, is going to be truly amazing when it’s done.
I’m not used to doing much of this blogging, as i’m not the verbose one *grin* Love you Master. So usually i do not give much thought throughout the day of what to write. But this is what i do when Master looks at me and says “Dam, I forgot about the post, you do it” at 8:15 and heads off to bed. The first gut reaction i have is “Oh dang, a post? Really? A post after i’m just finishing all of XY&Z and now this ?” Yes, really. I sit my tired butt quietly down to the computer and hammer out a couple of words because … I would move mountains for Master if that was the task because just simply I am His slave and this is what i do. For all the (internal) bitching i might do it’s all worth when he is pleased and i have served in devotion.
slave angie: After a day of shopping for painting and home repair supplies it’s finally going to happen, We’ve waited a long time and put off home repairs and sprucing up for awhile but both agreed it’s time to re’fall in love with our home again. Master and i both share a love working together to make home nice. Our home shows our togetherness as much as our actions do.
Master Michael: I love seeing the excitement on slave angie’s face today as we started getting supplies for the living room repaint. She gets to talking and thinking so fast when we’re at Home Depot that I can’t keep up! Tonight, she showed me how to apply the dry wall setting joint compound to the seriously cracked and damaged plaster, and I showed her how to mix the compound. Learning from each other.
slave angie: I always feel a bit more centered and life in order when home looks nice, Christmas season is a difficult time for me and give me the blues a bit. To spend time with Master side by side makes my heart happy.
ok so at 10:22am this morning this happens :
Michael S-Chgo – may need you to write today’s blog post.
in fact, take off “may”.
I’m warning you now so you can start to draft and noodle now to have something by eod.
s. angie – yes Master
Michael S-Chgo – that never gets old. “yes Master”
s. angie – 🙂
Then my day happens which looks like this :
In all honesty all the work while crying is happening…
… but my thoughts at the moment are about the questions that came from our Denver visit. ” Are our wills aligned?” Am i aligned in my surrender to Master and what does that even mean or look like? It’s been a long time since i’ve had a new piece of brain gum to wax poetic about my slave heart. I hope for this to be a better and more thought out concret post by the end of the week.