Packing has always been a stressful experience, or at least it was the first few times we did it together. Over the past year, we’ve come to be a well-oiled packing machine. A combination of using our favorite list service, Cozi (http://www.cozi.com) and just the experience and trust. I can pack in under an hour for a 5 day trip, and slave Angie has learned her rhythm and how to use the tools to not forget things. I’ve learned to trust her, that she will get it done, and she’s learned to accept and cope with my Aspie-OCD tendencies. The melt-downs now are very few and far between. We still forget something now and then, it wouldn’t be a trip without something being forgotten, but by and large, we are in sync and on the roll.
That whole experience is a microcosm for how M/s operates in the long term, I think. It is very rare for an M/s relationship to fire on all cylinders right off the bat. Sure, there’s the New Relationship Energy thing going, all is shiny, but eventually that new shine gets rubbed off and the learning and growing takes on a new direction. Now this is for keeps and I think it is here where couples learn the ins-and-outs and what is going to make them be in sync. It takes time, energy, communication and by that, I mean real communication – the soul searching within one’s self to know and acknowledge what is going on, then the sharing of that and listening, really listening to the other. Sure, Master commands, slave obeys, to do that effectively and positively requires real effort, finding the tools that work, finding the internal mechanisms that help get one through the rough times.
Packing used to be chaotic, stressful, lots of expectations and energy spent on things that just didn’t work. But, that was part of the journey and learning experience. So too, the M/s dynamic. And just as we didn’t stop traveling, so too we don’t give up on our dynamic. The tough times are when it’s really worth it, the growth is possible and obstacle is just that… something to be overcome.
One of my personal dangers and struggles with being in sync is complacency. I get comfortable, I get locked into a particular thing (hello Elder Scrolls Online, or Skyrim, or Dungeins & Dragons, or stock car racing, or … ) and I will assume that the “in sync” is going OK. But like any other skill, practice makes perfect, and practice and exercise need to happen. Those skills we learn in being in sync, that energy and emotion where we have that connection and we “feel and do” without even being conscious we’re doing it, that all needs practice and not setting aside. I’ve learned that to my chagrin a few times in the past. So I know it is there and when slave Angie raises the “I’m missing you, Master” flag, I’ve learned to recognize it.
There is no other feeling like being in sync though. When the two move as one, when it is so effortless and we work together as a well-oiled machine. It just feeds my ya-ya on how I always pictured an erotic M/s relationship should be.