[M/s 365] Understanding the costs

More downtime and resting from the previous week/weekend of South Plains Leatherfest and International Master/slave contest. Today was the first day of “normal” rhythm for both of us: I went back to my day job and slave angie was doing day-care for our granddaughters. We were missing each other pretty badly today – we had spent the previous 8 days constantly around each other and in highly stressful, “in the bubble” situations. We didn’t handle that so well in the beginning of our relationship, but over the years we’ve been through enough stressful situations enough to learn how to deal, how to handle things and what warning signs that one or the other might be struggling and need some support or rest.

up-screenshot-book-500x269One of the aspects of this sort of activity over a long period of time is the cost. Normal event drop is understandable, but the effect of that sort of sustained stress can be difficult on both of us, from a fatigue and “spoons spent” for slave angie’s lupus, or for my Aspie bucket to be full. We have learned to factor in the check we’re writing when we travel, or when we’ve been competing, because there is a cost.

It is always worth it, though. We always find a lesson, a growth, a reason for having done what we did and that makes it worth it. One of the things I promised slave angie when her lupus surfaced was that what we would do in the future would count, would feed our souls, would fulfill the purpose of why we’re here. So the cost may be a few extra days of rest, of lower and slower effort, but the priorities get taken care of, and we have new experiences and lessons and adventures to put in our scrapbook.

A small sidenote – although I’m the “author” of a lot of the posts here, they are a collaborative effort, usually us pinging the topic and writing off each other.

[M/s 365] Grounding

Today has been a day of grounding, of getting back into a semblance of a rhythm of home, of our foundation, of our space. The experiences of International Master/slave are in our hearts and minds and are very fresh, but we have a few days to get back on our feet and figure out what we’re going to be doing next.

Our rituals will help with that, as will just the familiar feel of the “todo email/IM” in the morning, the coffee being made, the flow of the day. Good anchors and good feelings.

Although we love the job we’ve just been hired for… having those moments of peace give us recovery and rest.

[M/s 365] Windshield time

Back home in Chicago, safe and sound, after a long day of driving. Ten hours in the car, decompressing and leaving the “bubble” of Southplains Leather Fest and the International Master/slave contest.

in-the-cockpitWe travel a lot in the car, as we go to events or travel up north to our getaway. We’ve come to really treasure the time in the car together. Master Sindarian calls it “windshield time” and we’ve adopted that phrase ourselves. It’s a perfect description of having that intimate time together, just the two of us, to talk. We don’t have distractions, except for the other crazy drivers on the road. Usually we’re in the car multiple hours, so if we need time to be quiet and chew on things, we have it. The conversation may wander, but we have that time to really explore things, to be able to see each other, feel each other. That is so valuable.

And we have been doing a lot of talking over the years – as we develop classes, as we’ve prepared for our state, regional and International contests, as we’ve talked about experiences and friends and classes attended, or runs enjoyed, or even that hot scene we just saw at the dungeon and how can we make it even more kinky.

Master/slave relationships, in our experience and in our observation, require the kind of communication that is open, honest and constant. When the conversations stop, it’s usually an ebb we’re in, and we use the windshield time to rediscover that space, so that we can talk and reconnect.

So now we’re home and feeling very exhausted and exhilarated… and a ton of windshield time. We have new class ideas, we’ve talked about our trip to the UK and regional contests, we want to do something with the Chicago MAsT chapters for International Mr. Leather this year, how amazing it was at SPLF, our thoughts on how it went.. etc. etc.

But it was wonderful connection time, downshift and reshift time. We love our windshield time.

[M/s 365] Starting several new journeys

Today starts our new project – sharing a year in the life of a Master/slave couple, one day at a time. One thought, or one huge post – maybe a thought, something we encountered together, something we discovered. Master/slave relationships take work, take time and take attention… and we want to share that with you. One day at a time. For a year.

SAMSUNGSo … new journeys. And on that note, we have another new journey that we are starting today… that of International Master/slave 2014. This past weekend, we competed with 3 other Master/slave couples to earn the privilege to serve as titleholders in the Master/slave community. It was an amazing weekend, and one that will take a few days or weeks to fully process (and recover from!). This opportunity means we’ll be traveling as much, if not more, as we have been in the past year, and we’ll be working very hard to learn, share and teach with as many of you as we can. We may be done with the journey of “contestants” but now we’ve started a new journey as titleholders who will go out and see what the year will bring.

We’ve always felt it was important for us to constantly grow, to constantly challenge ourselves and better ourselves. To see the growth that slave angie has shown in her journey to this point… from someone who would almost throw up when handed a microphone to speak in front of others… to last night when she stood on that stage and delivered a fantastic speech from her heart. I can’t begin to express how proud I am of her. The journey she’s taken within herself is as equal to the journey we’ve had together.

Being a Master/slave doesn’t have a final level, an ultimate destination, at least as far as we can tell. It’s a journey along the edge of our minds, hearts and souls that keeps going, with new vistas within ourselves.

And on that note, we’ll close out this first post… as we are exhausted and have a weekend of sleep to catch up on.

Master and slave 365


Awhile back, I had the pleasure to speak to Leon MonkeyFetish (@Monkeyfetish on Twitter) about his “Rope 365” project he had. His vision was to do a rope tie each day for 365 days in row and post them to his Twitter and Instagram feeds. He just completed that project in January. I had seen the posts and clicked on some of them, not being much of a rope guy, but I found the project concept interesting so I wanted to talk to him about it. It was a very interesting conversation, but what was interesting was to hear about how he looked at his rope work a bit differently now. (I’m reading between the lines here from his comments.) It looked like to me that he had become very mindful (and more skilled) in his rope work.

I’m not a stranger to blogging or to doing these sorts of projects, but it never occurred to me to do something like that as part of this blog. So, my slave and I discussed it (and still are discussing it) and we have come up with a rough plan of doing something similar, but from the perspective of what goes on in a Master/slave relationship for 365 days – what are our thoughts, our victories, our stumbles and our moments that reflect who we are? What if it’s 10 days in a row of “Life goes, had sex, served Master” sort of thing? (Answer – I’m sure there will be some thought you and I can write about.)

However, the chance to be that mindful of our journey, in that we would record it, and share it, intrigues both slave angie and I to no end.

So, as crazy as it sounds, we’re going to give it a try. We’re in the midst of our final preparations for the International Master/slave contest in Dallas TX next month, so we’ve decided that the best day to do this will be the immediate day after the contest – win or lose – we begin to record what our lives are like in an M/s relationship. That means on March 9th, the first post will go up.

We don’t know if this will equate to a post a day, or we “batch” them together, especially if traveling – that’s probably something we’re going to have to account for (possibly by email submissions from the phone, if needs be).

We’re both a bit nervous about this, as this will be a far more intimate look into us than my ramblings on Facebook are, and slave angie has never been much of one to put a lot of herself online. How will it look and what will we discover on our journey after IM/s?

We’re all going to find out.

Stay tuned.